Ugh… the damn thing goes soft when it’s feeling insecure. Don’t ask me how a sword can feel insecure, but the blade goes like rubber and flops more often than not.

[ He sighs. It’s still depressing, given that he’s had so little opportunity to get any other kind of sword. You know, the weapon kind. As far as dicks, there are more than enough of those to go around. ]

I didn’t know I had to say that I wanted a sword that would work.